The past few week-ends have been filled with activity. Three weeks ago I went to Leadville and rode on the Leadville, Colorado & Southern railroad. Two weeks ago I video recorded the Unitarian Universalist service, "Standing on the Side of Love", held on the steps of the State Capitol; I spent evenings the rest of the week cutting it into 10-minute segments and uploading it to You Tube. Every time I try to do a video project I'm convinced I need a more powerful computer so I got one. Last weekend I attended the Motorcycle Club's 41st Anniversary Top-Hands party, then helped the Club pour beer at the Wrangler Beer Bust the following day (the club gets a percent of the sales.)
I've started feeling a little down lately - not depressed - just not optimistic and energetic. Maybe it's because summer has come to an end and the trees have lost their leaves, but it could also be work related. I feel like I don't serve a purpose there any more; I'm not sure I've ever been very affective. There is also the health care/health insurance issue. I have enough money to live on for a year, maybe two, but I can't afford the health insurance premiums. If I can hold out for 2 more years I'll be eligible for retirement, unfortunately our retirement fund is nearly broke so I'm not sure the benefit payments would be enough to live on. I genuinely doubt I will ever be able to retire.
Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I didn't have to worry about an income or paying the bills. I think I would like to be able to pick a place of interest on the map each week, do a little background research about it, ride the motorcycle to it, tour and take pictures and video of it, make a You Tube video about it, post the pictures and write a Blog post about where I went, what I learned and what I saw. I would also like to learn more about local history and geology, wild flowers and birds. After awhile I would expand out to encompass neighboring states and eventually the rest of the nation.
I would like to improve my photography. The Canon takes great pictures when it is used correctly but I've learned that full automatic isn't always the right choice. Sometimes using program mode to tweak the exposer or bracket the shot is a better choice; that requires a little more proficiency with the camera. I also want to develop my photographers eye. I want to become more aware of back lighting situations, pay more attention to vertical and horizontal lines, and framing. If I visited one of the State parks or near-by wild-life refuges every month I would get in more practice more often, and I would be able to see how the parks change throughout the season.
There isn't anything to gain by getting down in the dumps about the future. I just as well enjoy life now while I still have the means and my health.
